The Theory
by Scarby
Summary: PG-13 only for drug use. Just thought there wasn't enough (any!) Fez/Hyde slash. Hyde's got a theory, and the guys want it proved...


Title: The Theory  
  
Author: Scarby  
  
Note: Ok, DEFINITETLY not my best work by a long shot. I just REALLY needed to add to the almost nonexistent Hyde/Fez slash genre. Oh, and not much in the plot development. Just had an idea and ran with it.  
  
Warning: As I might have alluded to, this is SLASH. You know, love transcending gender, gay, yaoi, etc. All that good stuff. (Evil Grin)  
  
The Theory  
  
"That's *so* not true, man!"  
  
"Sure it is, man. I know it from experience, you know."  
  
"Hyde, you're *such* a liar!"  
  
"No, man. See, something happens in the head, and what goes on in the head travels through the whole body, Forman. It's the same reason we eat so much when we're high."  
  
"Whoa. Hyde's right."  
  
"Of course you think he is right, Kelso. You always agree. In my country - "  
  
"So, if he's right, then where's Jackie?"  
  
"Who cares, man?"  
  
The four boys laughed incessantly for a minute before silencing.  
  
Kelso furrowed his brow. "Wait, *I* care!"  
  
Eric barked a laugh, snagging a chip from his confused friend. "Yeah, right."  
  
"No, really. I love her. Really. I love her legs and her face and her - "  
  
"Ok, Ok, shut it. No more about Jackie." Hyde lit another stick as the former one burned down too low, the smoke wafting gently across the room. For once, his ever-present sunglasses lay on the table next to the incense holder.  
  
"But you said an hour fifteen. How can any guy hold it for that long?"  
  
"Kelso, man, I just *explained* it! God, listen next time."  
  
"Yes, Kelso, you must open your ears and close your mouth. Only then will the world open like a fertile flower to you, showing all it has to offer. Listening to Hyde was the best decision I have made." Fez stole a chip as Kelso tried to interpret his words.  
  
"Yeah, man. Listen to me."  
  
"So, anyway," Eric interrupted, "back to this theory of yours. Is it actually true. Like," he swallowed, "true-true?"  
  
"Of course, Forman." Smiling, Hyde added, "But only if you're man enough."  
  
His friend laughed, then stopped suddenly. "Of course I am! In fact." He stood quickly, striding toward the door. "In fact, I have a keen *urge* to see Donna right now!"  
  
Silence reigned after the door slammed shut. But only for a moment. After all, this *was* the Forman Basement.  
  
Fez was the one who broke the silence. "I have ten dollars on Eric returning in thirty minutes."  
  
Hyde raised his hand. "Fifteen, Fez."  
  
Kelso looked at the other two. "Um.before I am."  
  
And he was gone.  
  
Hyde yelled after him as the door shut, "You whore!"  
  
Only the quiet rock in the background broke the silence as Fez and Hyde looked at the door.  
  
"Yeah, Forman's coming back before Kelso."  
  
Laughing, Fez added, "No argument here."  
  
Hyde looked over at his friend. "No, you never disagree, do you, Fez." It wasn't a question. And it was true.  
  
"That's because we're best friends."  
  
"Mm."  
  
"Um, Hyde?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Fez looked around, his tanned face blushing slightly. "Um.how exactly do you really know this fascinating fact?"  
  
He grinned. "Just do."  
  
"Oh." Fez sighed. "Ah, but Fez needs a whore to test this wonderful theory. And now would be a perfect time."  
  
Flopping on the couch, Hyde agreed. "Yeah, I could deal with some right now, too."  
  
Fez sat lazily next to his friend. "But how can we get it? And do it?" He suddenly desperately cried, "When's Fez going to have his whore?!"  
  
"Hey, chill, man!" He placed a warm hand on his foreign friend's shoulder. "You could always do it yourself."  
  
"But it will not be the same! I *cannot* be a virgin anymore!"  
  
Without hesitation, Hyde cupped his friend's and pulled his face towards his own, their lips melding gently.  
  
(Now, the reason Hyde and Fez allowed this is (A) that they're both horny as hell, and (B) you all know what Mary Jane does to the mind!)  
  
After a minute, Hyde pulled back a little, leaving Fez with his eyes still shut and his breathing ragged, shallow, but kept his hands on smooth, brown skin.  
  
"Oh," Fez breathed almost inaudibly. "I did not know."  
  
"Know what, Fez?" Hyde whispered, unconsciously stroking his friend's cheeks lightly with the tips of his fingers.  
  
Opening his eyes, Fez smiled. "That you would allow me to do this."  
  
And he pulled Hyde by his curls towards him, lips passionately dancing as a counterpoint to the rock music floating in the air surrounding them.  
  
As they lay on the couch, entwined together and flying on the smoke wafting around them and the infamous male hormones, the stick on the incense holder burnt down until it was completely out.  
  
As Hyde pulled back, opening his mouth to ask a question, both he and Fez suddenly heard a loud stomp followed by an equally loud curse coming from the stairs from outside. A moment later, the stomp-curse routine repeated.  
  
The two boys immediately flew to opposite side of the couch. A look crossed between them, and, at the last second, both leaned across the centre of the couch, caressing their lips one last time before having to go back to "normal".  
  
Eric opened the door, immediately pointing an accusing finger at Hyde, unnoticing to the boys' perspiring and shortness of breath. "You," he charged Hyde, "are a cheap liar!"  
  
"Why, Forman?" Hyde asked innocently, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Did you fall short?"  
  
"More like your stupid theory did!" Huffing, he sulked angrily into a chair, and Fez and Hyde shared a secret smile.  
  
"Maybe you are just not man enough, whore," Fez said calmly, slinging an arm behind the couch.  
  
Hyde copied Fez's action, their hands brushing together safely behind the couch and out-of-sight from the fuming Eric. As he continued, Fez leaned over to Hyde.  
  
"It was twenty-three minutes. Who won?"  
  
"Both of us, man. Definitely both of us."  
  
" - and then Donna started laughing and. Hey! What are you two whispering about?" Eric eyed them, wary for any tricks.  
  
"Nothing, man," Hyde proclaimed, linking his hand to Fez's and pulling both of them up. "We're just.going home."  
  
They started walking out the door when Eric exclaimed, "But, Hyde, you live here."  
  
As he passed his friend, Hyde smacked him upside the head. "Yeah."  
  
And they walked out, leaving Eric still fuming about his.inadequacies.  
  
Fez giggled as the cold air outside hit him. He leaned into Hyde's arm, which was casually draped around his shoulders. "Is this theory actually true?"  
  
Hyde smiled. "Actually, I haven't the slightest idea. I just heard it and wondered how long it would take for Kelso and Forman."  
  
"What about me?"  
  
The grip on his shoulders tightened, drawing him even closer. "You, I'm going to find out personally."  
  
Fez smiled. "Good." They reached his home. "Because my host parents are away, and I am desperate to test the truth behind this theory." He drew Hyde down to him for another kiss before leading him into his house.  
  
***  
  
The next day, Hyde and Fez walked into Forman's basement together, where the entire gang was happily lounging.  
  
Without a second thought, Fez announced, "The theory is correct." Then, with a pointed look at Forman, he added, "For some of us."  
  
Eric immediately cleared his throat and said, "So, who wants to go to the Hub? My treat and all."  
  
Eventually, everybody but Hyde and Fez left. The two boys gave each a "look".  
  
"So, Fez. Wanna try the theory without dope?"  
  
Without hesitation, both Hyde and Fez ran into Hyde's room.  
  
As it turned out, they didn't come out for a very long time.  
  
Le Fin  
  
Feedback keeps my "joie de vie" happy. Whatever the hell that means! scarby13@hotmail.com  
  
~Clamat, sed ubi asinus est?~ 


End file.
